Among the greatest life lessons I’ve learned is that we can’t regulate other individuals’ options. Being a naïve, wide-eyed lady, I did learn it the hard way. We can not control who stays and that leaves. And also the cynic in me is constantly whispering that individuals constantly leave.
I could have discussed a few times that I am somebody who obtains as well attached conveniently. Possibly because I always would like to know people and provide a chance. Maybe that’s the reason that I experience separation stress and anxiety. It breaks my heart to recognize that there are individuals you’d reach invest days, weeks, months, years, just for them to shed the bridge and reduced the ties. It was tough to understand that growing up sometimes suggests expanding apart.
Sometimes I would obtain that impulse to speak with someone, to reach out to them, but the nervous person in me is always terrified that I might just trouble them. So I held myself back. You know, as well as it ended up being one more one of those relationships that finished in “we simply stopped speaking”. The strike of losing someone really feels a lot more intense if you have anxiousness. It definitely seems like it was all my fault. As well as the most difficult component is finding out that is what I’m undergoing, I’d lose parts of my support group, also. However, in some cases, we just need to accept that not everyone will stay. We should move on and focus on the ones who do. Because often, some individuals are simply not worth the effort any longer.
So this is for individuals who never left even If they got the opportunity. This is for the ones who saw the worst in me; all the errors, all the problems, all the weaknesses, and still stood by my side. This is for those that held my hand when others select to leave my life. This is for the people that remained to pull me when I nearly left them behind.
You are the reason that I am continuing this battle. You’re the reason that I do not just half believe every pep talk I state to myself any longer. That for every “I’ve got this” mantra, there will be individuals who’ll really concur and say “yes, you do!”. You made me want to be a better individual. You made me intend to remain, too. As well as that, I will forever be grateful.